Penguin Non Grata

There is something that’s been missing from my life these past few years: Art. Creating things. Expression for expression’s sake. I miss it.

For seven years, it was my job to create. While it WAS still work, and a more stifled outlet considering that I was limited in scope to what the clients needs were, the things I produced were born of me.

I don’t miss being a designer, but I miss the creative side of what now feels like my past life.

The problem with this is, basically, I suck at the cheap stuff and I’m too broke to afford the things I’m good at.

So… I need to either get better at the cheap stuff, or befriend someone with a kiln.

Yeah.

Art is expensive. Expensive to create. Expensive to purchase. And this is something I struggle with. My biggest struggle is that I don’t think a piece of work should cost an exorbitant amount. But then, most works are invaluable to the artist as they usually are one of a kind pieces - impossible to recreate. No matter how detailed the artist is, they will never paint the same stroke twice or carve the same line twice. Each piece is original, and as such, should have an original price tag. But I believe in accessible art. Art should be for the people… ALL the people, not just people who have deep pockets. I think that’s why I love etsy so much. People put their heart and souls into their work, and sell it, usually for a reasonable price so that others can enjoy their creations.

And yes… I know I’m rambling…

… but I started thinking about all this because of someones project I came across. This guy, who goes by the name Sighn, decided to carve 1 million of these:

Which I thought was neat. 1 Million. That’s a lot. Intriguing… why did the artist choose “its ok” as the theme? Why 1 Million? What will he do with them all?

It will take him 60 years to finish. 500 trees. He will sell all million carvings. For each one sold the Arbor Day Foundation will plant 1 tree.

At this point, I was thinking this was pretty neat and though the whole “why” question (that usually can’t be answered anyway) was going through my head I saw that the selling price per piece is $20. Not a huge drop in the bucket…

… and then I started doing the math.

twenty million dollars? And the site mentions that the price will go up over the years for inflation, so it will likely net more than twenty million. Regardless, it’s a pretty big amount. Granted, it is 60 years of his life. But twenty million (or more) dollars?

The truth is, I don’t know WHY it bothers me but it just does. I even feel guilty for questioning the intentions of the artist. We are all money driven to a certain extent, so there should be no problem IF the intentions of this project were anything but art for arts sake. But if your intentions WERE for the sake of the art (in this specific case) why charge at all? Or why not charge the cost of the wood? Why twenty million?

And then, I start to think… why not twenty million? Our society tends to base the worth of something on a dollar amount, so why wouldn’t the artist sell his life work for twenty bucks a pop?

And after that, I think… this hydrocodone cough syrup I just took is making loopy and I need to stop having an internal battle over art and finances. Aaaand, if I am going to have a cough syrup fueled “internal” battle I should probably not memorialize the occasion on the blog.

Meh. I guess all in the end… It’s ok.

Vampire Weekend’s self titled album = Love.

Sorry for the silence from my end. I’m not keeping my end of this blogging deal. Then again, those of you who have been around for a while know I’m prone to disappear from time to time.

So what’s been going on with me?

School, and lots of it. I’m taking 5 classes this semester… though one of them doesn’t start until next week. The other four have been keeping me on my toes though. The good news is that the light at the end of the tunnel has appeared. It’s small, but it’s bright… kind of like that time in kindergarten when there was an eclipse and we all got to view it through a pinhole. They had told us that if we looked directly at it we would go blind. I remember being so scared to peer through that pinhole for fear of my eyes burning out of my head… yeah, I evidently didn’t know what “going blind” consisted of. Yeah, yeah… I was a kid! Give me some slack!!

So far though, the semester hasn’t been bad. There are some nice people in my classes, can’t complain. I was talking with one of them today about my previous job and Alan graduating in 99. He found out I was rounding the base to 30 and swore that he thought I was around 22. I could have hugged him, but it would have been weird.

The fluffy-no-more program is still in effect, but slow going. I hit a little speed bump around Christmas and haven’t quite recovered. But I haven’t given up, and I still feel great… so as soon as I can catch up to the wagon I’ll be jumping back on. Damn wagon… maybe I’ll opt for a taxi… or a pony.

Found out some interesting news about someone I know once knew venturing on to a new stage in life. I may post more on this later… or I may not. Methinks I might need to digest this one first… double meh.

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And now… an installment of…

…in this moment, Things/People that Make me Happy…

1. As usual, Mumbleman… for just being AND for making me smile when I don’t really feel like it.

2. These two people have brought me a tremendous amount of joy as of late, so they’re in the list. Meet BBFF Mongo and Mookie. Both of whom might just kill me for putting this picture up. Tee hee.

3. My newest necklace: Love in Binary. Thanks Melissa!

4. Uncommonly warm weather. Global warming sucks, and I feel guilty for even saying this… but I love 70 degree weather during February.

5. Valentines Day. Yeah, yeah… I know I’ll get shit for this one. But really, can’t you just let me wallow in my mushiness for one day???

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So what’s new with all of you?

My stumble button stumbled onto this page. I proceeded to repeatedly play this clip that we made and giggle like a little girl every single time. For the record, it thinks “chuck” is a curse word and bleeps it out.

It could be that I’m a bit delirious… but I found it funny and thought I’d share.

I highly recommend checking out www.Gizmoz.com if only for the comic value of it. I actually find the site equally cool and disturbing. You can create a character using your face and a bunch of different options for clothing/costumes. Evidently, they can be used with skype and other online communication programs. Though I don’t know if I’d want to stare at a Max Headrom version of one of my friends while talking to them. Speaking of Max Headrom… have we really not come any further in technology since the 80’s? If Gizmoz is any indication… all signs point to no. Anyway, I hope to have a chance sometime soon to test the “record your message” function. I have to admit that it’s kind of odd seeing yourself talking but hearing a strange voice coming out.

PRS (Penguin Rating System):
www.gizmoz.com -

Okay… so it’s snow by South Carolina standards. This is the time that everyone freaks out, runs to the grocery store and prepares for the apocalypse by buying out all the available milk and bread, making sure the flashlight has batteries, and prepares for power outages and the like.

Yes, it is snowing again in South Carolina. Chances are, it will fall for a couple of hours, turn to rain, and by morning there will be no trace of it and the roads will be no worse than a typical rainy day. But regardless there will be school closings and the news outlets will post pictures such as these:

These pictures are taken straight from one of the local news stations web sites. I can’t help but be sarcastic when I check the news to find ridiculous pictures of barely frosted (if even visible) grounds and 2 inch snowmen.

Ahh… the good old SC winters. Yet another chance for us to prove to the rest of the nation that we are a little bit special.

Every once in a while I am reminded of why I am so glad that I was raised to have a good sense of humor. Today I had one of those moments.

I called a certain member of my family this afternoon to check in and take care of some business. For the purposes of this blog I shall call her “elf.” Now, I feel I have to explain just how much I HATE talking on the phone. I absolutely hate calling people. Even if its my own family, I dread phoning people. I get nervous, and oftentimes the conversation is quite awkward no matter how hard I try to avoid it becoming so.

The phone call to Elf actually started out okay. But then the topic of conversation turned to a thank you note I had sent her the week before. She told me she had something to tell me, and that I shouldn’t get upset about it. She just wanted to help me, and since she was an English major in college she felt she needed to guide me. Then she went on to tell me that the education I have gained should be put to use and on, and on, and on. She also mentioned that I shouldn’t run to my mother and tell her that she reprimanded me for what she was about to tell me. Huh??

And then she procedeed to point out the grammatical error in my thank you note.

Seriously.

I was in a rush to get a thank you note in the mail to her, as I would surely hear about it later if I didn’t do it soon. In this note, I had written the phrase “Alan and I” instead of “Alan and me.” *gasp* Now, most people would ignore this blunder and move on. Not Elf. Elf decided that it would be helpful to point this out. She even read the sentence word for word. I imagine the note was placed next to the phone awaiting our next conversation. There were probably highlighters and red ink involved.

I am a fan of proper grammar, and though I’m sure my blog doesn’t show it, I do attempt to use proper sentence structure in formal communications such as Thank You notes. Misspelled words are my thing, but do I point them out to people when they attempt to show a nice gesture for a gift? No. In my opinion it’s a little rude.

So, the lesson I am taking from this? Be thankful for the people in your life. Love the ones who love you, and laugh off the comments from ones who preach etiquette but choose to turn a blind eye to the hypocrisy of their actions.

/rant

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

2007 was a year of many firsts for me. Most of them were mental changes though, so there aren’t many exciting physical things to list. I am still very much a work in progress but the hardest part of change is always making that first step.

• The most life changing thing is the fact that after 29 years of going through life in a haze, I woke up. This is not necessarily something that I did myself, but I found out about a medical problem that was the reason behind my zombie-like state.
• I lost 30 pounds. Again, still in the process of losing, but I’m learning what my body can do!
• I began to speak up when something is not going how I think it should without obsessing about what people will think of me.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t really remember making any resolutions last year, which may be a reason that I accomplished the things I did. It seems that when I verbalize a specific goal to others, I lose focus on why I want to accomplish the goal. I think that the whole “New Years’ Resolution” is a cop out anyway. I can see reevaluating your focus in January based on the year past, but in general the process of change is ongoing and involves mini-goals that cannot be forced by a blanket statement of intent. So, the only thing I have for you is that I hope to keep my momentum going on the progress I’ve made so far.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

We had a new addition to the family just this month when Lucas Kamp made his arrival. My cousin Marie has set the bar pretty high for cute kids… and with my brother and I being the next closest to settling down, the pressure is on!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. I’ve only lost one person in my life that I was close with, and even then I was too young to truly understand what was going on.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly, none this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

More fun. More late nights with good friends. More blog worthy moments. More bike rides at dusk. Just more.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Hmmm… it’s sad, but there really are none. The year was uneventful as far as stand out fantastic days… but on the other hand, there were no lowest of the low days either. Middle ground… meh.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

New position at work. 2 more semesters of school done. Thirty pounds lost. Yup.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Failure? No failure here. Minor setbacks, maybe… but again, none that were memorable (scarring) enough to remember. Unless you want to count the fact that I shopped at Wal-Mart for the first time in 4 years or so, breaking my conscientious consumer streak. Damn being a broke student.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

More like I was released from illness. Again with the Idiopathic Hypersomnia and the great awakening of 2007.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Stuff. Meh, again. Probably the xbox I bought for Alan for Christmas.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Mongo - for being an ever present source of entertainment and constantly amazing me.

My Cousin JerBear- It’s an amazing thing when you see your baby cousin grow up to become a hard working and kind adult. This is not to say that the others aren’t equally awesome, but this year, JerBear stands out.

Old Crotchety - I feel like this year was good for our friendship. The past couple were tough, and I feel like we lost touch with each other. Though we will probably never be as close as we once were, I think we are well on our way back to a workable friendship.

Mookie - for just being.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Mongo - Appalled doesn’t really apply… but depressed, yes. Mostly depressed and worried. Two words: fuckwit brit.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Tuition. Bills. Nothing fun here…

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The new position at work.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

“The Chills” by Peter Bjorn and John

and

“Sea Green, See Blue” by Jaymay

and

“Where the Moss Slowly Grows” by Tiger Army

and

“Matrimony” by The Avett Brothers

… I mean seriously, a whole year? One song?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?

happier

b) thinner or fatter?

THINNER!

c) richer or poorer?

equally poor
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More fun, less work/school. More connecting with old friends and making new ones.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

The daily grind things. Obsessing over things beyond my control.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

German Christmas at Alan’s moms on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day at my Mom and Dads. Christmas Night with friends. Stress level was pretty low this year and I didn’t TOTALLY screw up my diet… all in all, I can’t complain.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I fall in love more and more each year with my Mumbleman.

22. How many one-night stands?

None.

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Not much time for TV, but we did catch The Amazing Race pretty consistently.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

There aren’t many people in this world that I “hate,” but the select few have pretty much stayed the same.

25. What was the best book you read?

Well… there isn’t much time for non-school related reading, and since the textbooks of the past couple of semesters haven’t been page turners, I would have to say either “Rant” by Chuck Palahniuk (thanks, Mongo) or “Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Hmm… overall? I guess Peter Bjorn and John. Well, that and Mongo and the Goat Herders… (yeah, that would be a rock band reference for those not in the know).

27. What did you want and get?

The one thing I want I’m still waiting for… patiently.

28. What did you want and not get?

I repeat, the one thing I want I’m still waiting for… patiently.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

I finally saw Amelie and loved it. Four Eyed Monsters was worth the wait.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was 29. My day was very special thanks to the shenanigans of Mongo and Mumbleman and their supreme desk decorating skills. I felt loved… and it was truly a great day!

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I am not to mention the one thing… but my silence speaks volumes.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Heh, almost non existent. I miss being fashionable… though next year is MINE. Weight loss is good for fashion purchasing excuses. Sherikles better get ready for that mall shopping spree!
33. What kept you sane?

• Knowing that this phase my life is in right now is temporary, and the harder I work, the faster I get to that elusive end. It can’t come quick enough.
• Another factor that kept me sane is the switch in my work schedule. I was working in the evenings and began to feel like a vampire… I am certainly NOT a morning person, but the schedule sure does make you feel a little more human.
• Sanity was definitely aided by the wakefulness factor. Tis a good thing.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Meh, they’re people. Though I do lurve me some Nick 13, Cusack, and Jolie. Mmmm NickLauraCusackSammich…

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Everything. Easily stirred these days. Like that bumper sticker says: “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

36. Who did you miss?

• Emily.
• Lissa, Rob and the kidlets.
• Friends of the past who will always have a place in my heart.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

• MOOKIE!!!
• Honorary Mention: Sherikles. Though I met her two years ago, I really feel like due to the circumstances we didn’t have a chance at friendship until this year. I really have come to enjoy her and hope that our friendship continues to develop.
• Kimmie. Though you are in the “great state of St. Louis (har),” our nights at the DC will never be forgotten.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:

It’s not necessarily something pertaining to a lesson-learning situation I have been in, but the frustration of being on the other end has taught me that you CANNOT expect someone to help you if you are not willing to help yourself.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I hate posting song lyrics… but Wolf Parade’s “I’ll believe in anything” is a song from this year that is very dear to me. Especially the first line… (love you Mongo!)

I’ll Believe In Anything

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood, your bones, your voice, and your ghost

We’ve both been
A very brave
Walk around with both legs
Fight the scary day
We both pulled the tricks out of our sleeves
I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything
Said
I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything

If I could get the fire out from the wire
I’d share a life and you’d share a life
If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d share a life and you’d share a life
If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d take you where nobody knows you and
Nobody gives a damn

I said nobody knows you and
Nobody gives a damn
And I could take another hit for you
And I could take away the trips from you
And I could take away the salt from your eyes
Take away skin and salt in you
And I could give you my apologies
By handing over my neologies
And I could take away your shaky knees
And I could give you all the olive trees
And look at the trees and look at my face and look at a place far away from here

So give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood, your bones, your voice, and your ghost
We’ve both been very brave
Walk around with both legs
Fight the scary day
We both pulled the tricks out of our sleeves
But I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything

If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d share a life and you’d share a life
If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d share a life and you’d share a life
If I could take the fire out from the wire
I’d take you where nobody knows you and
Nobody gives a damn
I said nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn

I said nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn either way
About your blood, your bones, your voice, and your ghost
Because nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn either way
You know I’ll believe in anything and
You’ll believe in anything
Because nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn either way
40. So in as few words as possible, how would you sum up your year?

An awakening. Hopeful. A big step in the right direction. Thatisall.

One day I will get around to posting a real update… but for now, and until things are a little less hectic (how about when I graduate in two years?) this is what you get!

I had my third weigh-in today… and… *drum roll*

*building anticipation*

I lost 5.8 pounds this week!!! Which brings me to a 4 week total of 11.2 pounds! Only 100 more to go and I’ll be set. I know it sounds like a lot, but now that I know what to do to get my body to cooperate, it’s really not that intimidating to me. I’m thinking that this can easily be done within a year… give or take a few months.

… and on a side note: I’ve been walking a lot (at school and for fun) and today I even jogged a little bit. Imagine that! Me, jogging! I haven’t done that since our hellish volleyball practices in high school. Gotta start (again) somewhere, right?

I hesitate to say anything for fear of the weight loss jinx… but I just have to share. I started weight watchers last Wednesday. I had my first weigh in today and came in at *drum roll* 4.2 pounds lost!! I know that kind of a loss is not something that I can sustain (nor is it healthy to do so) week after week, but it gives me hope. And boy do I need hope right now!

I keep hearing thunder… and I have never been praying for rain as much as I am right now. I’d do a rain dance if I thought it would help. The temperature was 107 yesterday… with the heat index it was more like 115.

I’d kill for winter right now.