Penguin Non Grata

I know it has been forever since I updated. Life has been kind of crazy… good crazy, but crazy nonetheless.

I’ll update on all of that later, but for now I just wanted to share an e-mail I received from one of my cousins. This is mostly for my future reference as I found it to be quite an amusing example of religious hypocrisy. If you live your life by the book… well, I’m sorry, but I can’t agree with you there. It would be nice to turn all my problems over to a higher power to ease my mind, but I don’t think I could be so blind to a lot of the dogma of the Christian faith.

Here it is:

Subject: AN ABOMINATION AS STATED IN THE BIBLE!!!

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian

I am not an expert at naming movies… but how in the world did this happen?

http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/The_Midnight_Meat_Train/70084798?strackid=7561b3d27bf857a4_0_srl&strkid=2127396557_0_0&trkid=438381

There is something that’s been missing from my life these past few years: Art. Creating things. Expression for expression’s sake. I miss it.

For seven years, it was my job to create. While it WAS still work, and a more stifled outlet considering that I was limited in scope to what the clients needs were, the things I produced were born of me.

I don’t miss being a designer, but I miss the creative side of what now feels like my past life.

The problem with this is, basically, I suck at the cheap stuff and I’m too broke to afford the things I’m good at.

So… I need to either get better at the cheap stuff, or befriend someone with a kiln.

Yeah.

Art is expensive. Expensive to create. Expensive to purchase. And this is something I struggle with. My biggest struggle is that I don’t think a piece of work should cost an exorbitant amount. But then, most works are invaluable to the artist as they usually are one of a kind pieces - impossible to recreate. No matter how detailed the artist is, they will never paint the same stroke twice or carve the same line twice. Each piece is original, and as such, should have an original price tag. But I believe in accessible art. Art should be for the people… ALL the people, not just people who have deep pockets. I think that’s why I love etsy so much. People put their heart and souls into their work, and sell it, usually for a reasonable price so that others can enjoy their creations.

And yes… I know I’m rambling…

… but I started thinking about all this because of someones project I came across. This guy, who goes by the name Sighn, decided to carve 1 million of these:

Which I thought was neat. 1 Million. That’s a lot. Intriguing… why did the artist choose “its ok” as the theme? Why 1 Million? What will he do with them all?

It will take him 60 years to finish. 500 trees. He will sell all million carvings. For each one sold the Arbor Day Foundation will plant 1 tree.

At this point, I was thinking this was pretty neat and though the whole “why” question (that usually can’t be answered anyway) was going through my head I saw that the selling price per piece is $20. Not a huge drop in the bucket…

… and then I started doing the math.

twenty million dollars? And the site mentions that the price will go up over the years for inflation, so it will likely net more than twenty million. Regardless, it’s a pretty big amount. Granted, it is 60 years of his life. But twenty million (or more) dollars?

The truth is, I don’t know WHY it bothers me but it just does. I even feel guilty for questioning the intentions of the artist. We are all money driven to a certain extent, so there should be no problem IF the intentions of this project were anything but art for arts sake. But if your intentions WERE for the sake of the art (in this specific case) why charge at all? Or why not charge the cost of the wood? Why twenty million?

And then, I start to think… why not twenty million? Our society tends to base the worth of something on a dollar amount, so why wouldn’t the artist sell his life work for twenty bucks a pop?

And after that, I think… this hydrocodone cough syrup I just took is making loopy and I need to stop having an internal battle over art and finances. Aaaand, if I am going to have a cough syrup fueled “internal” battle I should probably not memorialize the occasion on the blog.

Meh. I guess all in the end… It’s ok.

Vampire Weekend’s self titled album = Love.

My stumble button stumbled onto this page. I proceeded to repeatedly play this clip that we made and giggle like a little girl every single time. For the record, it thinks “chuck” is a curse word and bleeps it out.

It could be that I’m a bit delirious… but I found it funny and thought I’d share.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiqBoiUO828[/youtube]

I highly recommend checking out www.Gizmoz.com if only for the comic value of it. I actually find the site equally cool and disturbing. You can create a character using your face and a bunch of different options for clothing/costumes. Evidently, they can be used with skype and other online communication programs. Though I don’t know if I’d want to stare at a Max Headrom version of one of my friends while talking to them. Speaking of Max Headrom… have we really not come any further in technology since the 80’s? If Gizmoz is any indication… all signs point to no. Anyway, I hope to have a chance sometime soon to test the “record your message” function. I have to admit that it’s kind of odd seeing yourself talking but hearing a strange voice coming out.

PRS (Penguin Rating System):
www.gizmoz.com -

Okay… so it’s snow by South Carolina standards. This is the time that everyone freaks out, runs to the grocery store and prepares for the apocalypse by buying out all the available milk and bread, making sure the flashlight has batteries, and prepares for power outages and the like.

Yes, it is snowing again in South Carolina. Chances are, it will fall for a couple of hours, turn to rain, and by morning there will be no trace of it and the roads will be no worse than a typical rainy day. But regardless there will be school closings and the news outlets will post pictures such as these:

These pictures are taken straight from one of the local news stations web sites. I can’t help but be sarcastic when I check the news to find ridiculous pictures of barely frosted (if even visible) grounds and 2 inch snowmen.

Ahh… the good old SC winters. Yet another chance for us to prove to the rest of the nation that we are a little bit special.

Every once in a while I am reminded of why I am so glad that I was raised to have a good sense of humor. Today I had one of those moments.

I called a certain member of my family this afternoon to check in and take care of some business. For the purposes of this blog I shall call her “elf.” Now, I feel I have to explain just how much I HATE talking on the phone. I absolutely hate calling people. Even if its my own family, I dread phoning people. I get nervous, and oftentimes the conversation is quite awkward no matter how hard I try to avoid it becoming so.

The phone call to Elf actually started out okay. But then the topic of conversation turned to a thank you note I had sent her the week before. She told me she had something to tell me, and that I shouldn’t get upset about it. She just wanted to help me, and since she was an English major in college she felt she needed to guide me. Then she went on to tell me that the education I have gained should be put to use and on, and on, and on. She also mentioned that I shouldn’t run to my mother and tell her that she reprimanded me for what she was about to tell me. Huh??

And then she procedeed to point out the grammatical error in my thank you note.

Seriously.

I was in a rush to get a thank you note in the mail to her, as I would surely hear about it later if I didn’t do it soon. In this note, I had written the phrase “Alan and I” instead of “Alan and me.” *gasp* Now, most people would ignore this blunder and move on. Not Elf. Elf decided that it would be helpful to point this out. She even read the sentence word for word. I imagine the note was placed next to the phone awaiting our next conversation. There were probably highlighters and red ink involved.

I am a fan of proper grammar, and though I’m sure my blog doesn’t show it, I do attempt to use proper sentence structure in formal communications such as Thank You notes. Misspelled words are my thing, but do I point them out to people when they attempt to show a nice gesture for a gift? No. In my opinion it’s a little rude.

So, the lesson I am taking from this? Be thankful for the people in your life. Love the ones who love you, and laugh off the comments from ones who preach etiquette but choose to turn a blind eye to the hypocrisy of their actions.

/rant